What’s the best marriage advice? Because marriage is a pain and it’s a lot of work. You have to live with someone you’ve dedicated your life to, and most of the time they drive you crazy.
Why did we sign this life-long contract to begin with? After many years you start wondering what it’s all about – if it’s actually worth it.
However, one central element to marriage is how you support the other person.
You can either be a drag on them, sucking their resources dry. Or you can uplift them, and be an incredible support system.
Obviously, without needing to explain, supporting your spouse is essential for a healthy marriage, but it’s much harder said than done.
Because clearly we’re all married to morons. The “other person” is always wrong.
Best Marriage Advice – Ideas
My wife is interesting and full of ideas. She’s normally hopped up on quadruple-espresso Starbucks drinks and spews verbal brainstorming ideas like a Harvard MBA program think-tank.
If you ever need an idea for a business, or what to do with your life, give my wife a call. She’ll rattle off a half-dozen ideas in 10 seconds flat.
“You should write a book. You should self-publish. The kindle is trendy right now, take advantage of that. Why don’t you start a podcast? Why haven’t you given a TED Talk yet?”
Geez, woman. Slow your roll. I just got home from work and I can barely muscle the energy to take out the trash. And all you want to talk about is world domination?
Every night she comes home with a glimmer in her eye and says, “I have an idea, want to hear it?”
No. I do not want to hear your idea about a hypothetical food truck to serve deliciously overpriced pieces of pie to drunk and hungry brewery people.
Even though it’s a good idea. And your pies are delicious. And we’ll make a lot of money. Speaking of which, I’ll have a slice. Then pass out on the couch.
So, no. I’m tired. Please leave me alone.
Best Marriage Advice – Dreams
Even though that’s how I feel, that’s not what I say. I love her ideas. She has some excellent ones. It’s just that her ideas affect me too. She can’t chase after every dream, because I have to come along for the ride.
But that doesn’t mean I stop her – far from it. Half the time I’m trying to take over the world too, flinging myself headfirst into new career paths and chasing wild dreams.
It would hurt me a lot if she held me back. If I desperately wanted to pursue something, and she said “No,” it would hurt me tremendously. It would crush my spirit.
Granted, I don’t need my wife’s permission to do anything. I’m my own man, dang it. But I need her support. I need to come home and have her by my side.
When things aren’t going right and the world is against me, I need her to tell me everything will be ok. I need to know we’re in this together.
Best Marriage Advice – Careers
I can’t imagine what marriage would be like if she hated my career. If I was a male stripper (oh geez) and she yelled at me every night because she hated my stripping ways, that would be a huge crack in our marriage.
So thankfully, that’s not the case. She lets me pursue things, and backs me up, and supports me. It means a lot to me. It means more than the actual “thing” I’m pursuing.
Likewise, I return the favor in kind. I help her figure out what her passions are and what she’s good at. We take that smorgasbord of ideas, garner them, and take the best one. We say, “If you want to eventually pursue ‘X’, maybe we should do ‘A, B, and C,’ first.”
It’s not negatively shooting down ideas, it’s actually permission to pursue what you’re talking about. It’s going with your gut and trying something new.
And yet, if you’ve read my opinion on failure, you’d know that things don’t always work out perfectly.
Heck, life is always hard. We’re always putting ourselves in strange and difficult circumstances. But it matters that we’re in it together. We have each other’s back when things don’t go right. And we’re not blaming each other for our mistakes.
Because we’re growing, and trying something new, and getting better at life.
Best Marriage Advice – Walks
Lately she’s been on this walking crusade. She doesn’t need my permission to do it. It’s beneficial in both physical and spiritual ways. And she’s helping other people too, by being an inspiration. She’s not done yet with this passion. This is just the first step. (pun intended)
But what irritates me as a husband, is she’ll ask, “Want to go on a walk?”
No. That answer is always no. I do not have time for your ridiculous hour-long walks. I do not want to battle the freezing wind or get bit to death by a thousand tiny mosquitos. I have my own stuff that I’m pursuing, and I’m tired, and I don’t really care about your fitness goals.
But that’s never what I say. I always say yes to the 5:30 AM Turkey Trot walk, and the after work marathon walk around the park. Because it’s good for her – it’s good for both of us.
And most importantly, because it’s what matters to her, and I support her in every way.
Even if I’m not in the mood.
Because we’re married, and we’re in this thing together.
Best Marriage Advice – Action Steps:
- Help your wife/husband figure out their dreams
- Pursue the dreams together
Does your spouse drive you crazy? What ways can you support them? How can they support you?